Monthly Archives: June 2011

08 Jun

hug the toilet

Who taught: Carol

Hug the toilet (source : http://www.funnymediablog.com/)

I am sorry if you read this post in the morning. Try not to imagine too much as you read it through. 🙂

Let me start with a simple survey here!

How many of you have experiences of drinking too much and throwing up as a result? All of you maybe?

Now, if the answer is yes, how many of you have gone into a bathroom to find a toilet to vomit? Probably many of you, right?

I guess I do not need to explain this expression, hug the toilet, by now. Let me have you feel this expression even better. When you need to vomit by becoming intoxicated, you would love to find a toilet and as you vomit, you have to be very close to the toilet. In doing so, you have to kind of hug it just like you hug your girl friend or boy friend. Can you feel it? As I said, you have to feel an expression to be able to not only understand and use it properly.

A few weeks ago, Carol twitted me, saying, “Hey, do you know what ‘hug the toilet’ means?” For some reason, my first guess was exactly correct. I guess it is because I had an experience of hugging the toilet. I had only one, though. And, it was due to the fact that I was forced to drink by my bosses in the Army. I hated that feeling and I felt I am like a trash. And, after that, I have never even thought about drinking. Now, I have a question to Carol. Why did you ask that question? Did you hug the toilet the night before that day? 🙂

My friends! Hope you do not have many experiences of toilet hugging! If you have too many, you might want to think about how to quit or reduce drinking.

Don’t hug the toilet but hug your juliet!

03 Jun

weed vs weeds

Who taught: Jean and Lorrie

Groundhog (source: http://brookeshelf.wordpress.com/)

There are glass french doors in my dining room through which I can see my backyard. Every evening, I see a groundhog that comes into my backyard, trying to find something to eat for his dinner, I guess. It is very funny to watch him because he does not eat lawn at all. He eats something else. You know what it is?

One day, as I see the groundhog, enjoying his dinner, I thought it is a pretty interesting thing to share with my friends. So, I wrote on my Facebook, saying, “Groundhog in my backyard. He really enjoys weed,” along with a picture. Now, my non-native English speakers, do you find anything weird from what I said. Probably not much, right?

A few minutes later, my friend Jean added a comment, “Are you growing weed in your backyard? You might not want to publicize that on FB ;)” Well, at that moment, I did realize that what she meant because I know there is a TV show, called weeds. My friend, Lorrie, also commented later. She said, “weed –> weeds (weed mean something else in English slang).”

What does weed mean in the U.S.? It means marijuana. According to Urban Dictionary, weed does not mean grass any more in the U.S.

So, be careful when you say weed. Now, my question is that what if you really mean one undesirable grass in your backyard. That is what a weed is, right? I can literally say, “I have this huge weed in my backyard.” Then, it can be understood by other people as a huge marijuana in my backyard. What word would you use to really mean a weed in your backyard? This is actually confusing and hard for me to catch and use properly.

Anyway, that groundhog really enjoys weeds in my backyard so that I think I do not need to buy a weed killer. 🙂

P.S: Is weed killer fine though? Shouldn’t that mean marijuana killer?

01 Jun

beard

Who taught: Christian

Beard (source: http://www.greatfunnypictures.com/)

Last week, there was a farewell party for Andrew’s last day at his work. He now moves on to the next chapter of his life. I wish him the best of luck. I am sure he will be very successful at his new work.
So, I was there and met many people who I have not been able to see for a while. As usual, we all talked about anything new or any recent news about each other. I, of course, mentioned about my move. As I mentioned my move, Christian asked me, “Where did you move into?” I said, “Regent Square.”

His following response was not what I expected at all. He said, “Oh… that is the gay neighborhood in Pittsburgh.”

Honestly, I was surprised because I did not know that at all. I said, “What? Really? But, my neighbors are all young married couples.”

Christian said, “Well, you never know. I have a few gay friends who live in that neighborhood. Your neighbors could be beards.”

At this point, I had to stop him to talk about what he just said. Can you catch what it is? Yeah! Beards! What the heck does beard mean? In general, beard means the collection of hair that grows on the chin, cheeks and neck, but not the upper lip, of human beings. Isn’t this what you think when you hear the word, beard?

Now, in the context of my conversation with Christian, it is obvious that he used beard to mean people, not the collection of hair. Also, he used it as he talked about gay people. Here is the definition for you!

a man or woman used as a cover by a gay partner.

Assuming that I am a gay and I live with my wife, Jessy. Then, who is a beard here? Jessy is a beard for me. Now, what if Jessy is also a gay and we live together. Then, we both are beards. That is what Christian meant. It was even more surprising to learn that people use beard to mean these people.

I had to think about its origin. Based on my research, people started to use this expression in 1960’s but there is no real etymology of it. Now, my guess is this. When you grow beard, then it covers your face which is the most important part of a human body and it is the part that really shows your identity. By having beard, you kind of cover your identity. What do you think? Don’t you think my assumption here is quite good?

Well, let’s make something clear here before I wrap up this post. Jessy and I are not beards and it does not matter whether Regent Square is a gay neighborhood or not to me and Christian. We are all people here on the earth.